Gardening

Do you plant a garden every year? I did up until this year, ever year the dang squirrel's kept eating more and more so this year I had the bright idea of planting some Trinidad Scorpion Butch T peppers in pots and keep them on my patio. I figured I could kill two birds with one stone with these peppers, one hope a squirrel would come up and bite into one of these hot ass peppers and fry his happy little ass and then what was left of the peppers I could laugh at others trying to eat these hot dang things. Well the laugh is on me.
 I would had been better off just buying some of these damn peppers from the store, have you ever sat down and figured out how much it cost to grow things? With the garden in the past I never paid much attention on the cost of one, but growing them up close to the house in pots I was able to keep tabs on what I've spent and it ain't pretty. Anybody want a half million dollar pepper? That might be what I have in these damn things before I get a dang pepper. I'm used to putting something in the ground and it grows and starts to produce and then the squirrel's come and eat it, simple as that. These peppers I believe are sissy pepper plants, they need so much dang attention it wears on me, at first when I got the seeds I followed the instructions to a tee, put them in germination soil and wait till the seed sprouts and has 3 sets of leaves then replant them. Sounds simple don't it, I put one seed in each little potting container and waited and waited, then one day I walked into the kitchen where I had them pots and started jumping up an down hollering for the wife to come look, she told me to do something with those peppers that I don't think is humanly possible if you know what I mean, she wasn't happy having 20 something pots in her kitchen, any way I watched the cute little sprouts come up and after about a week I watched the cute little sprouts fall over deader hell. That should had been a sign to me to throw it all in the trash and be done with it but hell no I'm stubborn as heck, I get on the Internet and find out that germination soil is deader than hell won't nothing grow in it, what the hell. So I add fertilizer to my little pots and my peppers start growing, I'm on a roll now. It gets time to replant my nice little plants so off I go to buy potting soil to put my plants in bigger pots, I get all my plants re potted and think all I have to do now is water and wait and I'll have me some peppers before long, dang I can't wait, dang it wrong again. I check on them every morning, since I've spent so much time on these dang little pepper plants. I go out one day and lord Ole mighty I have blooms ,I would had called out to the wife but after what she told me to do to them peppers before I didn't think it would be a good idea, so I think to myself ,hot dang it won't be long now I'm gonna have me some peppers. Those pretty little blooms opened up and the next day they are laying on the ground deader than hell, damn what now? Off I go to the Internet and find out maybe I need some bloom set spray, so I figure I'll go to the box store and get me some bloom set spray for these nice little plants the next day. The next day before I make it to the box store I get up and check on my dang little plants. What the hell are all those little black looking balls around my plants on the ground, WORMS o'hell I start looking at ever leaf on them plants and start pulling off these dang green worms, I get 15 of them off my plants. I sweep all their little droppings off the patio an sit all day going out to check for more droppings, those dang worms can strip a plant in one day you know, I'm good to go again got all of them buggers off my plants. Now I'm off to the box store and get me some bloom set spray. I get home thinking now I'm gonna fix these blooms and finally get me some peppers, wrong again, man I'm getting tired of this being wrong all the time. I start spraying my bloom set spray on my blooms and what the hell is that I see now, little tiny spider webs o'hell again, spider mites. Back to the box store for some spider mite spray. I'm thinking I'm gonna kill all them little devils and maybe get me some peppers now. I sprayed all my plants yesterday and go in the house thinking it won't be long now and I'm gonna have me some peppers, wait is that thunder I hear? Damn its raining washing off all my bloom set spray and my spider mite spray off, HELP, dang gummit.
 So today I'm watching the weather to see if I can go spray again and just maybe, one of these years I'll have me some peppers.

Lets see what we have spent here.

 Potting soil - $20.00
Bloom set spray - $ 7.00
Spider mite spray - $ 14.00
Doctor visit stress related to pepper plants - $ 35.00 copay
Prescription for Xanax for stress -  $10.00 copay
I'll probably need rehab after this is all over - $25,000.00
Maybe a divorce attorney  -   $25,000.00

 So if you are gonna grow some Trinidad Scorpion Butch T peppers you might want to keep this list handy to see if you can afford to grow them.

Y'all have a good day now I have to take a pill and get back to my pepper plants.