Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Lordy, Lordy, WHAT HAVE I DONE

Well I should had known it would happen. I just thought it was me and ole Ben that read this dang Blog. Hell its just him & me that comment back and forth on here most of the time. So I figured it wouldn't hurt to show my crop circle to him.
Well let me tell you, there's folks lingering around here on this blog and I know who one of you are, you'll find out later on.
 After I posted that dang Johnson Grass story, hell it couldn't have been 3 hours later my dang phone starts ringing. I look at the caller ID and it has, Anonymous, on it. Now I usually don't answer phone calls like that figuring if you don't want me to know who you are than I don't want to talk with you. Well the hair stood up on the back of my neck just looking at that phone. I had me one of them premonitions. Damn that's a big word for this ole country boy. Hell it just popped in my mind just like that. Anyway back to this here story. When my hair stood up on my neck from that premonition, I decided I ought to answer that phone. Well I shouldn't have. Let me stop right here for a second and tell you, I'll never show off my crop circle again.
 This feller with a deep voice says "Are you the gentleman with the crop circle". When he called me a gentleman I should had hung that damn phone up right then, but stupid me says yes that is I. He precedes to tell me he was with an anonymous group of people that investigates that sort of stuff and they have enough evidence to show that them little green people are down right dangerous and wants to go out to my place to try and trap one. I tell him if they are dangerous & you know it, why trap one, it will really piss him off and I don't want no damn little green thing mad at me since there has to be more than one of them in that damn Johnson Grass.
We talk for awhile if you could call it that, more like me yelling than talking. He makes me an offer I couldn't refuse but I had a stipulation, I ain't going out there unarmed and if some of the secret stuff he told me about them little green people is true I don't have a gun that would stop one.
This here is where I should grabbed me a bottle of Wild Turkey and downed it. He says that they have developed a gun that could stop one of them little green people and he would have one at my door in 4 hours. I laugh and say ,yea right what the hell have you been smoking. I play along with him figuring if for some reason someone shows up at my door that I don't know, looking crazy I would just shoot him and call him a burglar and drag his ass in the house before I called 911.
We hang up and so I wait with my gun handy.
At 3:44 P.M. a black limo pulls up out front of the house and this feller in a black suit gets out and walks up to my door, he rings the door bell and I answer it. He hands me this package and says "No one is to know about this so tell no one ,its the utmost importance that this weapon is not seen by anyone". I tell him he could trust me with it, that my lips were sealed and he leaves. Well I'm shaking now, this fellow was real.
I'm telling you all of this for my own protection, someone has to know about this in case I disappear off of the face of the plant.
Now the feller I talked about at the start of this story, the one that sicked them damn little green people hunters on me. From now on I've encrypted the rest of this blog so that all you will see from now on is stuff like this"jjkjbxkajghqoiwgdikcb". If you see the rest of the blog like that, then you know that I know who you are.
Now for the rest of you folks I'm going to show you this damn Little Green People Killing Gun. I trust you will not show anyone this gun and that ,what you read & see hear stays here. Thank you, I knew I could trust you.

I'm shaking just thinking about posting this picture but here goes.

Ain't that a dandy!

When I unwrapped that gun I just stood there and marveled at it for about a minute and wanted to try it out on something, I looked around and spotted a squirrel out in the back yard, I pointed that little green people killing gun at that damn squirrel and pulled the trigger, this curly looking blue light comes out and instantly that dang squirrels hair stood straight up,like he had gotten hit with 220 volts, he then rolled over with all fours pointing straight up, his front little paws together like he was praying, shook twice and poof nothing but fur flying, he was gone. Boy I sure like this gun. Hope I get to keep it when we get back.
I guess I done told you everything that I shouldn't have so I guess I better start packing stuff for our little green people hunting trip out at Terlingua. We will leave on Sunday and be back I hope Tuesday. If you don't hear from me by Tuesday night, when you look up at the stars at night, just pick one because I don't where them damn little green people are from, just say a prayer for ole Jim he will probably be on one of them.
Ya'll take care now and remember not a word to anyone about this.


  1. Hold on just a minute there Jim. I got a big problem with the story you related about the fellow that showed up at your house. First part is the car he arrived in. Everybody knows that those guys don’t travel around in limo’s. They all drive official Government issued Fords! (Official Sercert Agent car
    And that weapon he gave you. That’s old left over stuff from either Buck Rogers or something they found in Roswell back in the ‘40’s . The current official model of the alien busting weapon is like this one. Official Alien Busting Weapon

    And I hope you learned your lesson about answering your phone to blocked numbers . DA!!

  2. This was not any Government person, Ben no sir. He introduced himself as Earl & said it was his other brother Earl driving that Limo. His teeth kind of stuck out you know,like he could shuck corn with'em. Way them teeth stuck out I probably could grab him by the ankles and plowed up that Johnson Grass.

  3. Wow Jim, I sure would like to join you on the little green men hunt, but I think you should capture one and see if he or it can tell you the secretes of the universe.

  4. Dizzy, I thought maybe we could take that motor home of yours down there and hunt them together. It looks big enough to maybe bring back a couple of your own. The town you live in would be ideal for them critters, "Cut & Shoot".

  5. Good luck on the Alien hunt! If it's OK, I think I'll just wait for the pictures for the hunt!

    I would just get in the way on the hunt, and I'm afraid the smell coming from my shorts ,might be a dead give away if we saw one!

    O' Earl sounds awfully familiar to me! Think I might have seen him over on the next street!

  6. Ok, I'll bring back some pictures for you,Dizzy. I'll keep a spot for you on the next hunt. I'll even see if I can get you one of those green people shooten gun's.
    Thanks for stopping by.

  7. Jim, although I am selling my class-C, I have already replaced it with a much biggerone with lots of room to bring back what ever we capture.p

  8. Cool, I would like to bring back one of my Javelina's to put in my back yard. We might have to wash him before he rides back in that motor home.
    All kidding aside if you ever head out that way your more than welcome to park on my place. I don't have elec. yet,I use solar but you will have some great views.