I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND

Can strangers just come up to ya and poke you in the butt with a syringe?

 I was setting in my attorneys office, telling him all about the t-shirt and how it came about. I tell him about this feller calling me and wanting to go out and catch one of them little green people and afterwards he pops up with this t-shirt & is gonna make a lot of money off of it.
It's my dang crop circle, I tell my attorney and that dang feller can't do that to me with them damn shirts.
About halfway through me telling that dang attorney my story, he makes a phone call, he motion's for me to keep talking while he's on the phone, so I just keep running my head not paying any attention to what he's saying on the phone. After I'm through telling him everything, he says Mr. Jim, when he calls me that I instantly knew he was from Louisiana , only folks from there puts a Mr. in front of your first name, anyway he says I think we can sue the hell out of him & get you and me a few dollars.
While he's telling me all this legal jargon I notice he keeps looking out the window as if he's waiting for something and I'm getting a little nervous about that.

Well lookie here what that SOB done. He called the fruit cake farm on me.

I'm looking for some place to run but there ain't no where to go. In rushes these two big gorilla looking goon's and done stabbed me with a needle before I could even get a good punch on one. Hell I'm screaming like a damn girl by now and then I start to get a little cock eyed if you know what I mean and start grinning like a possum. This feels purty dang good you know and then the lights go out.

 I wake up in this god forsaken place that looks like hell, it stinks with a smell of  formaldehyde and is dark and damp and just down right spookie. I'm getting a little scared now, what the heck is going on? 

In walks this doctor if you could call him that, looked more like Barney Fife to me and he asks me how I was feeling, I tell him my butt is sore from that damn needle and I want to go home, I almost said I wanted my mommy but figured they would keep me longer so I didn't.

I had to go through the whole damn story again about that dang crop circle and finally told him to read my blog, that I was sick of the whole damn mess. I hate that damn crop circle, I'm gonna take a dozer and knock everything down out there. All I want to see is dirt.

Make a long story short, I'm home now with some ice on my butt, it is sore as heck and I am looking for another attorney so I can sue that first one I had that got me this sore ass in the first place, ya'll take care now and I'll keep you filled in on whats happening.